It's Alive!

Just to let you three subscribers know, I am finally back in action. I am moving this blog to http://www.evilsysadmin.org. I'm starting off by replaying the existing posts, one every friday morning. I hope to get you caught up in the meantime so we have a nice flow of fresh posts waiting at the end of the replay.

See you over there!

Planetary Destruction with a Coffee Can

There's a funny humor piece at http://www.deepastronomy.com/how-to-destroy-earth-with-a-coffee-can.html that talks about destroying the earth with a coffee can.

It's a fun read, but as one who works for an organization that develops various evil technologies including planet destruction devices, I can assure you that while it takes more than a coffee can to destroy the Earth, it takes far less than "107,000,000,000,000 nuclear bombs".

What you really need to destroy the Earth is a destructive force that grows at an exponential rate you can either think along the lines of von Neumann machines or chain reactions.

Believe me, hitting the Earth with adequate force in a single shot is just not going to work.

Evil Motivational Posters

The posters from this week's Comedy Goldmine at SomethingAwful will certainly need to be spread around the lair, I think this one is particularly appropriate:

Zombies on Television

Now I don't want to make any wild accusations, but I was watching the Emmys last night and when Dick Clark came on I was very tempted to switch on the Xbox and play Dead Rising. When you see a man looking that good at that age and after a massive stroke, you just know something is up.

Hmmph, Amateurs!

So I'm reading my daily Engadget and lo and behold, someone has developed a 'Death Ray'. Now I give props to the students at Tel Aviv University and recognize that they are still only students, but to steal a famous quote... I've seen a death ray, and that sir, is no death ray.

First of all, it looks unwieldy. We make death rays in the form factor of a gun because that is what people are used to in a weapon. Larger death rays are of course mounted into orbital satellites but from the specs mentioned we're not talking about a death ray intended to kill thousands, more of as tactical death ray.

And it needs a steel plate as a shield? Do you honestly think any serious user wants to walk around with a death ray that has a big steel plate on the front of it? Not only would you get laughed at, you would have a big steel plate interfering with your aim. Any decent death ray will have a tight enough beam that you won't need a shield to protect yourself from the death ray, and shielding from the death rays of others is provided by specialized clothing, not big awkward steel plates.

In the end this work represents a good first effort for non-evil university students, but their work still has a long way to go if they want to produce something that is actually usable in the field.