2006-05-29

Back To Work

Now that I am finally out of the medical division I thought I would bring you up to speed on my last month.

A couple of days after I got back from EvilCon 06 I was relaxing in my suite when there was a knock on the door. I opened it and there was Katiana, ready to take me up on my offer for a little digital violence.

Not one to argue with a trained killer, I fired up the Xbox 360 and the projector. Gah, what to play? I tried Halo 2 but Katiana said she did not recognize the weapons. Ok, something a little more realistic then. I tried her on The Outfit, a fun little WWII game, and was not surprised when she chose the German female assassin in the tight leather pants and a rifle.

We tried a few more games and I was finally surprised when I threw on Super Monkey Ball and she loved it. After playing for half an hour, she stood up and announced she had to go (so much for scoring tonight).

So how did I wind up needing medical attention? As she left she told me that she would take me out later to play with 'some real toys'. That sounded interesting.

About a week later she was at my door again, telling me to get some shoes on and come with her (whatever you say dear). She took me down to the firing range to show me how to shoot a real gun. Hey, no problem, I've always been a killer on FPS and gun games.

So we start with pistols. She hands me a Walther P99, showed me how to line up the shot, and let me empty the magazine to practice, leaving my hands quite sore and the target unscathed (so much for games teaching you to be a killer).

We moved on to assault rifles, where Katiana showed what a lot of practice can do for accuracy, though I did manage to hit the target with a few rounds of the 20-30 I fired off.

Katiana then showed me how to use a tactical shotgun.

I don't remember what happened after that, but when I woke up I found Katiana at my bedside looking bemused and guilty. Apparently after trying the shotgun as she instructed I decided to point it at the target Terminator style. Before she could warn me I pulled the trigger and, lacking terminator-strength arms, the gun kicked back and hit me in the head, knocking me into a coma that lasted until yesterday.

On the bright side, I got to wake up to the sight of the hottest assassin this side of anywhere.

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